« ROCKET TO HAMPDEN | Home | NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK »
MY KINDA PEOPLE
By Defekto | January 13, 2007
I like the little people. They can do anything and I’ll be entertained…I’m not saying that in an exploitive way, I’m just uninterested by “normals” and the hum drum way they go about doing everyday things. At least I can thank God for the people who are able to drive, apply make-up and eat fried chicken at the same time—and for midgets.
CHUCKIE LOVE
Something I told my friend Barbara a few months ago really resonated with her and now she sometimes quotes, “If you’re a midget, you can do anything.”–and it’s true. Enter Chuckie Love, male midget stripper. 
After a Birthday drink with Ryan Sterner of Miracle Whip, Nikki and I headed over to The Ritz to check out little Chuckie Love who was headlining. On the drive, we made crass jokes about how we would kidnap him and force him to strip for us whenever we demanded. Nikki would throw her fake fur over him and I would pick the whole bundled package up and leave the place without anyone knowing we had just stolen the headliner. But I remembered something that my friend Ginger Coyote recently told me after meeting porn star Bridget The Midget. Midgets do not like being picked up! Ginger found this out after trying to scoop up Bridget who squirmed violently and got very irate, so I figured if I tried that move on Chuckie, our cover would be blown. Plus I liked him too much.
Just in case anyone was wondering, midgets are nice! I actually don’t think I’ve ever known a midget and meeting Chuckie was a great experience. This might sound like a cliche, but the kid has spunk. It was on a dare that he stripped at a friends bachelor party, made the easiest sixty bucks he’s ever made in his life and never looked back. It’s been a year since his debut and is enjoying the ride, with hopes of parlaying his minor celebrity into some acting and/or modeling gigs. 
MARIA, RITZ DRESSING ROOM
We actually didn’t even get to see Chuckie’s on-stage act. The club kept delaying his performance and besides needing to get to another party, I couldn’t afford to keep drinking at The Ritz. The bill for Two Jack and Cokes was $30! I’m not sure if that’s because I ordered it in the VIP Room or if the blonde behind the bar really was that blonde, but at that price, drinks should come w/ a free lap dance. Either way, the people at the Ritz were really friendly and the strippers hot…especially Maria, who I hadn’t seen in months and has since taken up as a resident stripper. She looked amazing and YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST… She and another stripper friend will be debuting their new band Hot Pink Firing Girls at the next Sideshow! in April.
Chuckie’s last night at the Ritz is tonight, so check him out and tell him Defekto sent ya!
Update: Thanks to Segrid Pearson for the tip on this rollicking video clip:
11 Responses to “MY KINDA PEOPLE”
Comments
You must be logged in to post a comment.
January 13th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
:)…i really dont have anything to say about this whole thing..im kinda just sitting here staring at the computer, hung over and looking stupid….wish i would’ve met that midget
January 13th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
I <3 midgets.
I hate fat people though.
January 13th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Don’t be a hater just because nobody went to your bar last night to be surrounded by air-headed bimbos falling all over their Frescas.
January 14th, 2007 at 11:35 am
I had a lovely night and, thank you very much, several GOOD friends did come visit me.
If that’s the impression you have of Murphy’s you betta acks sumbody. Come see me on a Monday night before the kitchen closes sometime. Buy any food item and your entire tab (drink for the next four hours for all I care) is 25% off! We’re just a quiet little neighborhood bar until the Loyola brats invade… that’s only Wed-Sat though
January 14th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Seriously, I don’t even know where Murphy’s is! Does that 25% discount apply to anyone reading this??
January 14th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Murphy’s is right across the street from the Senator on York road between the pizza shop and the goat meat (Carribean Groceries) store.
The 25% off applies to ANYONE who orders ANY FOOD item over $4 (so anything but fries) off the menu on ANY Monday night.
January 15th, 2007 at 12:54 am
so steve pointed me to this site because he is well aware of my obsession with midgets. i’ve been on a passionate search for midget porn and when i learned of a midget stripper locally i was devastated that i wouldn’t be able to check it out since i’m currently in new delhi. however- a testament to my fascination is that i actually logged onto this site, waiting long minutes for it to load on the slow internet just so i could see if there was any truth to the stripper rumor. this is the ONLY thing in the world that i think i would have given up my trip to india for. i’m saddd i didn’t know of it earlier. thanks for the great read!
January 15th, 2007 at 10:53 am
murphy’s is cool, its the offical pool hall of wayne mutant and meat vegan!, jim, its like 10 minutes from yer house
January 15th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
(unless things have changed drastically since i moved), murphy’s is a chill hang out spot on a quiet (non-college freak out) night, and it’s always good to see scott. besides, erika can keep those kids in check!
January 16th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
for that kinda money you should be gettin a ny strip steak, and a comp blowjob…i guess im cheap
January 18th, 2007 at 11:16 am
everyone already knew that jason!